My cat companion, Arius, died on Sept 5th. Arius was 16 1/2 years old and in great health. I got home from Burning Man the night of the 4th and he was fine. The next morning I found him on the table where he liked to sit. He looked like he was sleeping but as I approached him I could see that sadly he was gone. I feel incredibly blessed in so many ways. About being here. Being the one who discovered him. Seeing him so peaceful. Seeing him one more time the night that I returned. That I had time to spend with his body to say goodbye before I took him to be cremated. That he lived every moment of his life in good health. That I got to experience him for so many years.
Nonetheless it is shocking and deeply sad. I have definitely been thrust into a deep pondering stage and am beginning to consider where other energy can move around in my life. Arius had the courage to let go, and I’d be wise to follow his lead…metaphorically for now.
I got his ashes back on Tuesday. The poem that came with his ashes is beautiful, wise, and deeply comforting. I’ve posted it below.
I do like to focus on positive thoughts and obviously prefer not to feel discomfort. I have, for the first time in many years, allowed myself to fully feel these restless moments of sorrow. I was listening to Le Miserable today on my run and out of no where was so choked up I had to start walking because I could not breath. “It’s okay.” I thought. “It’s okay to be sad about this right now.” This too shall pass.
Love and Light,
“I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn’s rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the stars that shine at night. Please stand not at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.” RIP Arius